I prefer Qween myself, and my nineicorns have 9 legs, and are 2 timing a donkey. but thast just me.

This post has been edited by creis: Mar 20, 2005 - 1:50 PM

First of all i'd like to say to you that your behavior is not a healthy one, but that also i do not judge you because of it... i am a psych major and i always used to say that psychology is my passion. I now recognize that people not psychology is my passion and to help them through the valleys of life whether spiritual or emotional is my purpose... all that i can do for you is offer my help and what information that i have .. it is not an offer that you have to take nor is it an ultamatim of being wrong should you choose to disregard, but it is a truth that i know given by the people who also had this passion.

there are many reasons why a person physically harms themselves.. most are written off as acts motivated by attention but this is only a slighted observation. a sample of the motives for those who choose to self-mutilate

Escape from emptiness, depression, and feelings of unreality.
* Easing tension.
* Providing relief: when intense feelings build, self-injurers are overwhelmed and unable to cope. By causing pain, they reduce the level of emotional and physiological arousal to a bearable one.
* Relieving anger: many self-injurers have enormous amounts of rage within. Afraid to express it outwardly, they injure themselves as a way of venting these feelings.
* Escaping numbness: many of those who self-injure say they do it in order to feel something, to know that they're still alive.
* Grounding in reality, as a way of dealing with feelings of depersonalization and dissociation
* Maintaining a sense of security or feeling of uniqueness
* Obtaining a feeling of euphoria
* Preventing suicide
* Expressing emotional pain they feel they cannot bear
* Obtaining or maintaining influence over the behavior of others
* Communicating to others the extent of their inner turmoil
* Communicating a need for support
* Expressing or repressing sexuality
* Expressing or coping with feelings of alienation
* Validating their emotional pain -- the wounds can serve as evidence that those feelings are real
* Continuing abusive patterns: self-injurers tend to have been abused as children.
* Punishing oneself for being "bad"
* Obtaining biochemical relief: there is some thought that adults who were repeatedly traumatized as children have a hard time returning to a "normal" baseline level of arousal and are, in some sense, addicted to crisis behavior. Self-harm can perpetuate this kind of crisis state
* Diverting attention (inner or outer) from issues that are too painful to examine
* Exerting a sense of control over one's body
* Preventing something worse from happening

Most ppl that self-mutilators usually disapprove of aggressive feelings and impulses. If they fail to suppress these they direct them inwardly. . . . they often regard their self-mutilative acts as ways of relieving intolerable tension resulting from interpersonal stressors.

It has been found that people who self-injure usually have not developed three important self-capacities: the ability to tolerate strong feelings, the ability to maintain a sense of self-worth, and the ability to maintain a sense of connection to others. The first of these speaks directly to the emotional-regulation role of self-harm; the others are perhaps related to its communicative functions

Alexithymia is the state of not being able to describe the emotions one is feeling. . This is especially important in understanding the communicative function of self-injury: "Rather than use words to express feelings, an alexithymic's communication is an act aimed at making others feel [those same feelings]"

These reasons can be broadly grouped into three categories:

Affect regulation -- Trying to bring the body back to equilibrium in the face of turbulent or unsettling feelings. This includes reconnection with the body after a dissociative episode, calming of the body in times of high emotional and physiological arousal, validating the inner pain with an outer expression, and avoiding suicide because of unbearable feelings. In many ways, as Sutton says, self-harm is a "gift of survival." It can be the most integrative and self-preserving choice from a very limited field of options.

Communication -- Some people use self-harm as a way to express things they cannot speak. When the communication is directed at others, the SIB is often seen as manipulative. However, manipulation is usually an indirect attempt to get a need met; if a person learns that direct requests will be listened to and addressed the need for indirect attempts to influence behavior decreases. Thus, understanding what an act of self-harm is trying to communicate can be crucial to dealing with it in an effective and constructive way.

Control/punishment -- This category includes trauma reenactment, bargaining and magical thinking (if I hurt myself, then the bad thing I am fearing will be prevented), protecting other people, and self-control. Self-control overlaps somewhat with affect regulation; in fact, most of the reasons for self-harm listed above have an element of affect control in them.

The first thing that has to take place it the recognition that this behavior is unhealthy. i'd guess that your coming out is at least a partial admittiance that you know something is wrong and if i am incorrect then i apologize about that. in all honesty friend i would suggest you find some one to talk to about this and let them help you discover what this underlying problem is... this is something that is secondary to another problem.. behavior that is the result of that problem.. it is not okay to hurt yourself any more than it is ok for those who use drugs to selfmedicate. i understand the utter dispare that comes with life at times but it is conquerable. were i a close friend id ask you to not run from what it is that prevents you from happiness but to take the adversity that is before you and preserve through it . a valley... much energy is expended to cross through this time that you have before you to overcome this valley but it can be done dear friend.. everything that becomes great must at some point overcome strife... it can be done... and if you be religious then have faith pray and you will suffer not through the grace of god .. if you are not religous id ask you to explore the option even if only intellectually the glory that is truth. i'll be more than happy to help you with that as well . pm me if you have any questions .. ryan

yea i've experienced this via a close person to me
i got really upset and distressed cause i didn't know what to do about it
but IMHO don't do it man there are much better ways to do things and get through them

i've done smoking still do it some times
but really i just get in my celica
hit the highway and cruise around its relaxing to know its just me and her out there nobody to bother and she talks to me
"vroom" makes me happy to know that she cares >>

but nah punching bags but mostly the drive of the celica
i love it

please no cutting >>

damn john i hear ya bro...just dont take it any further.

stress and anger is a bitch...im glad i play hockey and im sorry for the opposing players. i vent all my stress when i play sports.