From my personal experience :

Girls with ex's still in their life inevitably wind up getting back with them, either one side or the other is still remotely interested in shacking up again, it's up to you to determine which one. There are exceptions to every rule, but I strongly believe that people who were in a serious relationship have a really tough time 'letting go' unless they went through a nasty divorce or a breakup.

If you've only been dating this girl a month and have had some drama, the problems will only get worse, not better. I'd run away screaming and go find some nice, unattached girl, who likes to give BJ's and races Supras or something.

haha, i just found this on the ladder system :
>

I remember there being a thread about this and people were like DURR NO I HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS WHO ARE GIRLS and blah blah blah, I knew I was right. The above is 100% true. Thank you for shopping at OT.

>

She doesn't call him everyday. Only that once as far as I know. He calls her because he still loves her. I don't even call my friend unless I need class information. She calls me when she needs class information and only when she needs class information.

This post has been edited by JonCars17: Dec 14, 2006 - 6:16 AM

go after the other girl, when you ask a girl not to do something they will. its a defiance who knows, let her ruin a good thing. better than being cheated on by a dumb whore in my opinion. (not calling you or her a dumb whore, just those who cheat) so wary of advice from certain people, as they have cheated and manipulated people in the past. My advice, dump her, women are a dime a dozen dude, why stress over drama shes offering. If you said i dont like this, and she keeps doing it, she wouldnt do it. Its because she cant let go and is weak and sooner or later in a time of remorse when maybe your not around, she'll run to him.

After people have sex you really cant have a relationship that can lower itself down, so if she slept with this ex, you can bet thats what he wants back and she is looking to reestablish her feelings without the work. Easy trade off, just makes her a whore if she does that. Just ask some girls you know (or from this site) if they have ever cheated, it will kinda sicken you in their reasoning. but ya..

Short answer: dump her, its better than being cheated on.

I am disagreeing with alot of what you all are saying (mostly Jen, Natalie). Your going out with someone for one month and your going to tell them to stop talking to some of their friends? Hows is that remotely a good start to a relationship, by telling them what to do and who they can hang out with? Nobody likes being told what to do especially from somoene they just met. If your gf has known her ex for a long time, you can't expect her to just stop talking to him. Certain things must change like the two of them going out alone and chillin but talking to them? And I'm sure you dont want her to tell you that you cannot talk to this person or that person because they are jealous.

My g/f talks to a couple of her ex's and I do to. Am I thrilled with it? Certainly not but I trust her so I dont worry about it. They are ex bf's for a reason, they didnt work out. Not allowing your sig. other to have friends of the opposite sex is ridiculous. Certain rules apply to ex's but thats it. If you dont trust your s.o. theres no relationship. Long distance relationships but a very heavy strain on this and thats why alot do not work.

Bottom line: you do not NEED her to stop talking to her ex and you do not NEED to stop talking to females because this one study partner isnt where it will end. What you NEED to do is tell her if she's not telling the people who she should be telling about your relationship, she's out.

If you are asking for advice on your relationship on a Celica message board, then that should be your answer right there.

>

I don't really want her to stop talking to him because it is not my place to say.. yet. I just mainly want him to know about her and I as a couple.

>

I'm not asking for advice. I'm asking for opinions. Regardless what everyone here says I will end up making my own decision.

This post has been edited by JonCars17: Dec 14, 2006 - 9:41 AM

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Woah are you f*ckin serious? Now I see why you date girls so much younger than you. You still have the high school drama thing down. Both of you were definetly wrong on that one. Plus regardless of what you say your reasonings are, you basically just used your college friend as a weapon against your girl

>

X10

My advice: Dump this girl nicely and then be alone for a while, grow up some and then start dating girls who are at least of legal age.

if you must know, she is the legal age here. So shut up before you feel stupid.

I'm sorry I don't have many friends in this small hick town. Most of my friends have jobs and work during the day.

So I guess I'll just stay home and cry about every damn thing. < - sarcastic

I don't feel stupid at all. As if a lame comment like that could induce any feelings of stupidity in myself? Whatever - you asked for opinions and you got plenty. You gotta admit that was pretty childish of you to have an arguement and then run to the one person she seems to be having a problem with the most. Further it's pretty childish to be airing yours and her personal problems on a CELICA website. Off topic or no.
Don't they make places like MySpace for this sort of drama?
BTW - I noticed you didn't shoot off at the mouth on Mynzeyez comment. Is that because he is a moderator and you fear the repurcussions?

This post has been edited by Negative: Dec 14, 2006 - 10:17 AM

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I'm not a moderator anymore. It's been a couple of years since I moderated these boards.

BTW, I'm 25, dating a 19 year old. There's really no difference in this. I'm in a full-time career-esque 8 to 5 job, and she's in college.

The main issue with this type of relationship, is the compatibility of maturity levels. She's very educated and mature, and I'm slightly immature for my age. So, we meet in the middle. Also, I will openly admit that she is much more educated than me on things such as politics, religion, history, etc. I know how to work on cars and electronics and engineering.

I realize none of this has anything to do with anything, but I'm just giving an example of when large age gaps can work.

If she's worried about mentioning your relationship to certain people, it's obvious that she is not mature enough for the situation, and still feels that the reprecusions on her image are worth far more than the status of your relationship.

In short:
Her social image > Your relationship.

That's a bad equation, no matter how you look at it.

-John-

>

My apologies at putting you in a place where you no longer are.
I agree 100% with what you said above. My girlfriend is 23 and I'm 31 so I understand. The main thing that makes us perfect for each other is that she is very mature for her age and I am quite immature when it comes to things like going out still and always looking for a party etc.
The problem I see with this other relationship is the girl is still high school age and therefore subjuct to high school age behavior.
W/e - I come on here to get ideas/help for modding my car not this MySpace crap. I'm out.

This topic hurts my head. So I say dump her, because she isn't mature for her age at all, and should grow up. If she hasent told her X about you that can only lead to trouble. If you are looking for a real relationship, toss her out the door at speeds over the speed limit. If you're lookin for a good time, keep her there on a string, while you poke around looking for others...and when you need a good time, tug on the string.

If she's going out to dinner with her ex and isnt telling him about you theres probably something going on.

Dump her.

I dont tell my boyfriend who he can and cant be friends with but i do make it known that there cant be double standards. Cuz he gets upset if I hang with a guy friend and I dont even have the want to hang with my guy friends anymore really because my boyfriend lives 1.5 hours away and I have to take a boat just to see him and im there almost every day so I dont really have time to see anyone but him and my best friend who is a girl.

>


I have guy friends that I hang out with sometimes who I know there will never be anything more between us, but I also understand how thats hard for the one I'm in a relationship with to accept.

about the ex-bf thing, her hanging out with him alone and calling him for anything before calling you and having dinner with him and her family is bad. shes probably keeping some kind of relationship with him just incase you fall through. if shes truely over him she'd have no problem telling him about you and cutting him off completely. I broke up with my ex after being with him for just over 3 years. talk about doomed from the start, we were having stupid arguments like 2 or 3 weeks into the relationship, it only got worse from there. the longer you put off a breakup the harder it gets

From what i read it doesnt sound like the girl he studies with isnt a friend so why didnt he choose a guy study partner? Also i am the type of girl who doesnt think new opposite sex friends should be coming into one anothers lives when youre in a relationship cuz one side probably wants the other side. Thats just how i feel. Im new to the whole relationship thing so I am still feeling my way out with all of this and luckily have a boyfriend who understands that and is really nice and puts up a fight when he thinks something is wrong so its good hes not a pushover or anything. Ive never really had a long meaningful relationship. ive always just dated so really im not the best to give advice :-)

First off what no one in this thread has asked yet are you 2 in a commited relationship? Have you said that you are not going to see anyone but each other?

If so then grow a pair and give her an altamatum. Tell her either she tells her ex about you or she get to the curb. Its just plain disrespectful to you that she is still talking to her ex.

As for you friend she has no right to tell you that you can not talk to her, you have been going out for a month, not 6 not 12.

Also if you are already having these problems, then don't get attached, its not going to last. Just "get some" and have fun for now.

>

I have had this class friend for 2 or 3 months longer than I've been in the relationship. We studied together before I got into the relationship. I wasn't looking to get into a relationship until she gave me her number.

As for the commited relationship question. We are as far as I know infact she has even asked me if she should even be friends with her ex when he asked her. I told her no because of him being an ass and him just trying to get close to her. I also stated that he will never want to be just friends.

Sorry but I'm tired of thinking about this so I doubt I reply anymore. I'm gonna give her a week or two and see how things go.

you should date the girl you study with, she is a keeper (long term).

x2

Girls just suck money and time away from ur car. plus the only needy part of a car is gas. just stay single

update?

I voted your both wrong.
for starters at 17 (god man.. lol) unless shes had a rough upbringing or something to maybe make her more mature past her age obviously childish incidents like this will happen. she should of right off the bat told the ex to bugger off due to the fact that shes moved on and is in another relationship. she shouldnt be getting bent out of shape over the fact that you have female friends (more childish nonesense as any mature adult wouldnt care due to the fact that there would be a little thing called TRUST) Ive been married for 5 years been together with my wife for 6 years and been best friends for 7, never have i once had any trust issues where i freaked out about her having any guy friends. heck ive been really friends with most of em lol. to make a long story short, if your having trust issues only a month into the relationship theres obviously something just wrong to start off with. and her needing your advice if to keep the ex around as a friend is pretty wishy-washy as it is. i agree with the previous post, go for the girl in your class.. at least shes looking ahead... ;] (that and i dunno about anyone else but i got a thing for chicks with glasses) awwwwright

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just to let you know ive been going out with my girlfriend for 21 months we are both 18 go to different schools and what not and she never tells me who i can and who i cant talk to.Nor do i tell her not to talk to ill give her a hard time somthimes if i find ou shes been talking to a dickhead but i dont tell her she has to stop,its her decision,and from her decisions i can tell what she thinks about me and our relationship.And as you can tell its been going very well. Her best freind is a guy "ME",but that aside the person she hangs out with most other than me is a guy.Its cool and a lot of my freinds are girls she gives me a hard time but never anything out of meaness.
And do what i did with my Girlfreinds ex..Well i did it will a lot of her ex's since we go to differnt schools and all and i had to make my presence known.. I would go up and introduce myself to them and tell them who i am.And i think you should do it too if you think that her ex boyfreind is the cause of these problems you are having. At least he would know whats up with you and her.

> Yeah we broke up. We are gonna going out sometime this weekend and talk about everything and see where it goes. The way it seems is we both still have feelings for eachother and I'm waiting to give it another shot. The trust thing has been delt with and I understand most of the things she does and why now. I think the break up was the best decision we both could have made for the relationship, but whether it works out or not, we'll just have to see. If we do break up again then I doubt I will give it another shot and will just move on.

As for her ex-bf, I'm not worried about him anymore. He is currently going through what most would call depression because of him losing her and he has mentioned killing himself because of it. I know this from his myspace page. This is probably why she believes he would hurt me if he found out about me (name wise and all). He does know she is seeing someone just not who and she isn't the one that told him. (No I didn't either).

As for the other girl, she isn't an option and never was. I've already tried to get with her before and she doesn't see me as a bf or anywhere in the ballpark. Hell she won't even hang out with me. I asked if she wanted to hangout at a movie this past weekend (I'm single) and all I got out of her was a I donno which never became a no or a yes. Besides I stopped looking at her as anything other than a friend because of this long before I even met the girl I'm seeing (now ex til we go out).

As for this post, I just wanted to see if I was alone in how I felt about this situation. I never wanted adivce on how to deal with it or anything, which is why I wanted everyone to just tell me what they would feel towards all of this. This is why I was asking for opinions and not advice.

I personally dont care about age aslong as they are of age and are atleast 6 or 5 younger than me max because of my parents. I did not go looking for her, she came looking for me. She gave me her number without me even asking for it. We would have seen eachother this past weekend but her mom was being a butt and she had family down from alabama.

"call depression because of him losing her and he has mentioned killing himself because of it."

No loss of a chick is ever worth killing yourself over.

He has more issues then either of you could understand.

This post has been edited by devilsden97: Jan 3, 2007 - 4:40 PM