I bought my first house last May. I knew there would be maintenance/general upkeep and yard work to do, but I never expected seemingly daily door to door salesmen.

• I do not want to buy steaks / meat from you out of the back of your truck. Your discount mad cow special is not appetizing.
• I do not want to buy your security system. I'll bludgeon an intruder to death with a meat tenderizer and cork screw before I pay you for some POS alarm.
• I do not want your sh!tty DSL. Just because we both use cable does not mean that if my neighbor gets a virus I will too you fvcking fvcktard! Choke on a d!ck and die.
• I do not want your satellite system. Insulting my choice for entertainment will not get you a sale. I have my own source for digital content of higher quality than what your satellite company offers.
• I do not want 15 magazine subscriptions to help your class go on some field trip. What the hell are my tax dollars being used for?
• I do not want your energy efficient windows. If I open the door and say "Go away. I don't want what you're selling." it'd be a good idea to leave unless you want to drop a deuce right in your pants as I give you the reaming of your lifetime.

These scripted robot motherfvckers are pushy bastards that don't know when to quit. I'll politely give them two opportunities to GTFO and then I'll lay in to them and make them think twice about their sh!tty career choice.
If I call you a "fvcking retard" don't argue that fact, just accept it and kill yourself for telling me that I'll get a virus from any of my neighbors that share the same cable line with me. If you're going to sell a broadband service you should know something about how modems, firewalls, and anti-virus programs work at the very least.

What the hell should I do about these salesmen?

What are some things that you didn't think about when you bought/rented your first house.

This post has been edited by WannabeGT4: Dec 27, 2007 - 12:48 AM

Maybe its a Kansas thing? We don't get anything like that around here.

yea we dont get any of that either

you could get one of those "no solicitors" signs

or buy a dog =p

or get a sticker that says "I got a gun"

...it's America everyones got a gun.

We have lower gun ownership than Canada, but higher gun-related crime .. by drastic numbers. Who-da-thunk

>
true, most likely the salesman has one too...lol

Ok maybe it's not as bad as I made it out to be. I've dealt with the meat truck three times in the past year but the other incidents were isolated. Still annoying when you're in the middle of a movie or show and some d!ckweed rings your doorbell.

get rid of the doorbell along with the door.
or when they are at your doorstep just start yelling senseless words and fight the air around you, i'm sure he would think twice. So the neighborhood thinks you a wacko, Whatever, they can buy stuff from the salesmen.

Don't answer the door?

walk out naked????

that might scare them straight....lol

We don't get the door to door guys either. We get telemarketers pretty bad though. My favorite tactic with them is just to hang up without saying a word. Very empowering.

>thats true. it pisses them off. im a manager at a call center. lol.

>

Figured out the tele-marketer problem already. We only use cell phones in my house. Telemarketers can not call you on a cell phone. It is against the law... or so I'm told. You'd know better than me though since law is your field of expertise if I'm not mistaken.

Take a lesson from Problem Child, wire the doorbell to run an electric current through a wet door mat

Or just put a sign up that says No Soliciting.

>
I actually use to use one of two tactics when I had a land line (which I got rid of because ONLY telemarketers used it, everyone else just called my cell anyway!)

1) if it was a woman (I'm a woman) I'd hit on her over the phone. Nothing freaks them out more than homosexual advances. And it's REALLY amusing.

2) More often than not, I'd ask them to please hold on while I get the whoever-they're-asking-for on the phone. Then I'd very quietly hang up. A few minutes later they call back sometimes, saying they got disconnected. Act surprised and apologetic, asking them to please hold on one more time. Hang up. If they have the stupidity or audacity to call back, this is the time to ask them for their home number so you can call them back while they're eating/watching a movie/having sex/feeding the dog, whatever.

Yeah, I'd do the naked thing. I kept getting bothered back at my parent's house by these Jehovah's Witnesses, I don't wanna hear about the tower. Well about the 4th time they showed up in 2 months, me and my brother were sitting at home watching tv, eatin some frozen pizza when we hear the doorbell. The door had frosted glass in it, so I could see them but they couldn't see us. Since we were still in our underwear cuz we just woke up like an hour ago, we decide to make these guys leave us alone. Now mind you, I'm about 6'3", 375 lbs, and have black hair to the middle of my back. My brother is about 6'2", 310 lbs with a full black beard. So we both get naked and answer the door with our arms around eachother. They never came back.

>
I'm Jewish. So after assuring them that I will NEVER EVER EVER find Jesus, I like to turn the tables on them and ask them if they've found Judaism and would consider giving up their religion and entire spiritual foundation per my suggestion. They don't come back.

That or just throw poo at them.

i got ppl like that calling and coming into my sign shop.

no door to door here, but I do get a lot of telemarketers though. I'm always very nice to them and I either tell them I'm masterbating and they need to hold on a few more minutes and I finish with them on the phone or I tell them to call back because I'm in the middle of an orgy and I don't want to lose my chubby. If they're still there I always ask them to email me the info at "your mom@myhouse.com".

good times, good times...

>


That's all i have to say about that.

i get 'kids' looking to help their 'afterschool program' through selling 'magazines' or through scavenger hunts.

supposed 'high school students' that look 35. LOL.

then i got these guys trying to sell some sort of cleaning solution 'guaranteed to keep fingerprints off for two weeks!'

my gf actually bought a magazine subscription for $25 through one of the scavenger hunt people..i duno wtf they were doing but when they visit your house n make a sale they put a sticker on your mailbox n all that shiite. when i got home i she told me all about it n since i knew it was bs i had to prove it to her so i looked online n as soon as a i googled the name of the company (something like sunshine magazines? cant quite remember atm) it said all kinds of do not trust, BBB investigations, peoples sob stories cuz they fell for it.

she cancelled the check for 15 bucks but better she cancelled n lost 15 instead of 25 :\

stupid f***s.