OKay here is a question... When I'm in 5th gear and driving if you hold the shifter at anytime while in gear you can feel grinding you don't hear it only notice it if you hold the shifter and not all the time. and if you push in the direction of fifth gear (meaning hold it in the 5th position a little harder than normal) you really feel it.

Is this normal? if not what could be causing this

you are pushing on the slider inside the trans. you can actually damage the trans if you push on it like that.

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ok i feel you but that in the extreme when i do push a little.... but what about just resting your hand on the knob you can still feel it

Yes, I could feel it. Been like that for 2 years since I bought the car, put 50k miles. No issues so far.

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oh ok so its normal kewl lol thanks guys

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Especially when releasing the gas pedal, I feel the gears turning.

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wow you bring up a good point I didn't mention. when you push down on the gas pedal you can see and feel the shifter being pulled in, when you release the gas you feel as if it disengages something. I'm like whats that about lol

Ive always assumed its the shape to the teeth on the gears.

They are designed to catch and pull together under load; they inherently push apart when decelerating